I lead a sad, sad life :) &I smile, because if I don't, I might start to cry.

Laughs. Okay this sounds damn emo. Let's try that again..

I'm happy, I really am. I really, really am.

If only saying it would make it true.


Anyways, on Monday we left school at around midnight again (2325 hours to be exact). Even though this fell short of our record of 1am, it broke new ground in the way that yesterday happened to be a school day. &again, I sacrificed my academics for council. Again, I'm going to recieve back two test papers with red ink splattered across in angry, dissaproving crosses.

How in the world can I bounce back from pit bottom? I feel like an absolute failure. A fucking absolute failure. How the hell did I get here?

&I have this gut feeling that they don't understand. They don't understand how difficult it is to juggle so many things at once, to feel like you're about to be crushed under a pile of boulders at every waking second. They don't understand, &they hate me for it.


Someone tell me how to live my life, please, because I think I'm going at it all wrong.